Thougths-II

It’s almost 2 AM.

I’m still awake.

Every time the clock passes 2 AM, I remember the quote from HIMYM. “Nothing good going to be happens after 2 AM, just go to sleep."

It’s not that easy all the time. I recently found that I’m forcing myself to get out from comfort zone a lot. I realised that maybe its became my comfort zone that being in not in the comfort zone. Does it make sense to you? Because for me it was a bit surprising to realise.

I was chatting with the people who I just met and I realise the changes in myself. I realised that when I start the sentences by “I used to…” or “I was…”.

Maybe I somehow obsessive about myself to push my limits. How it is even possible, not sure. But, I have a specific example for that. I used to wear black cloths almost whole the time. Nowadays, I rarely wear all black cloths. Even at some point, I didn’t have any. I was like “That’s not good, I have to wear some dark colours!”.

Sorry, let me be more clear about it. It’s not about color of my cloths or my old habits. There is something more about inside. There is an urge of change. Something related to my travels, I suppose. Striving the best version of myself. What is even the best version means, I don’t know. But, what I know is that I’m still awake at 2 AM.

That must be something.

P.S. It’s OK to be not OK.

Osman Kerem

5 October 2023